you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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