Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
