I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
