Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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