I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize