My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
