too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
