i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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