you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
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Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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