Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
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he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
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you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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