yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
