whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
