I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
