I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
