just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
