You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
that's an acceptable place to lick
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
