I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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