I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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