i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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