Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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