Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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