capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
that is very illegal...i love you.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
