so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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