Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
