i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
