Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm drive I can fine osifer
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
