God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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