sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We're too hungover to prance.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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