we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize