My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
