my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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