Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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