Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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