i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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