Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
