Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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