dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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