People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
i think im in europe. pls send help
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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