Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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