Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
