do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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