Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
