I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
