remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
