so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
