first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
