I'm going to jail i love you
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I am one with the molecules
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
