Responsibility does not care about your dick.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
