They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
