Cold hands, warm shart.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
