I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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