the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
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I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
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I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My vagina just clenched in fear
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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