I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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