dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We got so high we made milksteak
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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