For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
