i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
