I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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