im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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