YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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