Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
