I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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