nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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