belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
