Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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