Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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